"Better to have loved and lost than never loved at all" In the novel Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, we encounter characters who have all been affected by love: either by an abundance of it, desire for it, loss of it, or lack of it. By looking at these quotes from the book, we can see how several characters perceive love and are affected by it: "...maybe you could rate the people you knew by how much you loved them, so if the device in the middle of the ambulance detected the device of the person he loved the most, or the person he loved the most, and the person in the ambulance was really badly hurt, and might even die, the ambulance could flash GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU! GOODBYE! I LOVE YOU!" (pg. 72) This quote describes one of Oskar's many inventions, where ambulances would display a message if you knew the person inside of not. The invention would make sure that if your loved one was dying, you would be able to say goodbye to them: something Oskar never got to do to his father. After his father's death, we can that Oskar can't completely separate his feelings of grief and love for his father, and this quote is a good example of the meshing of the two emotions. It's the tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss. (pg. 208) This quote is written by Oskar's grandfather, Thomas. In Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, we see a common trend of people loving and appreciating the dead more than the living. Thomas never truly loves Oskar's grandmother because he is still in love with Anna, his dead former love. His mere memory of Anna makes it impossible for him to love his wife. We see this pattern in Oskar also. Oskar writes a list of the people he loves the most on page 73 and at the top of the list is his father, even though he is gone. These characters' love for people that they miss can be destructive to them and others around them. Oskar feels himself drifting away from his mother and stresses their relationship because of his grief. Thomas hurts his wife and his son because he can't offer them the love that they deserve. ...how can you say I love you to someone you love?...Here is the point of everything I have been trying to tell you, Oskar. It's always necessary. (pg. 314) Oskar's grandmother understands the depth of his pain all too well- she has lost her sister, mother, father, husband, and now her son. Out of all the characters, I think that she knows how fleeting and quickly love can be gone. However, Oskar's grandma still tells Oskar in her letter that he should always express his love no matter what. The bottom line is that we never know when we will be gone, so we should always tell each other how we feel. All of a sudden I understood why, when Mom asked where I was going, and I said "Out", she didn't ask anymore questions. She didn't have to, because she knew...They knew I was coming. Mom had talked to them before I had. (pg. 291) I think that this quote displays the concept of love the best. Oskar's mom knows that he's hurting and that his mission is his way of recovering and she respects that. She does her best to protect him from a distance and lets him do what he wants to in order to move on. Oskar most likely wouldn't have been able to find the lock without her. The subtlety in her involvement shows that she truly understands Oskar and what he responds to. Even though she probably knows that Oskar finding a lock wouldn't give him complete closure, she supports him. Because we only get to look at his mother through Oskar's eyes, she and her love are hard to understand at first. However, after this quote, we are able to see that she is the main reason why her son is able to come to terms with his father's death. |