“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games...Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, sh** on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women...I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The b*tch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much– no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every f*cking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point f*ck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”
-Amy Dunne, Gone Girl
In this speech of Amy's, she reveals an uncomfortable truth, the truth of the "cool girl". She tells of how inherently wrong it is that women are expected to play certain roles for men and be who men want them to be while men hold none of these expectations. And she's not wrong. While Amy's rant is a little extreme at parts, it holds truth. In lots of relationships, from teen to married, women will go out of their way to please their partner in a way that's not always reciprocated by men. It's degrading in a way, to sell yourself out by doing something that you don't want to do, just to please someone else. And Amy has really sold herself out, playing a role that she doesn't want to play just to please a man who's also pretending.
Amy seems to be justifying her actions through what she's saying in this speech. It's a cry of anger and it tells us that she's not happy with the expectations that are set up for her. She's not happy that her husband is allowed to take and take from her more than he gives. Amy doesn't want to play the Cool Girl game with Nick; she wants to be with him on her own conditions and we see this in the end of the novel. Though Amy and Nick are still pretending with one another, Amy's not doing it to please Nick, she's doing it to please herself, something completely different from pretending to be the Cool Girl.
But does this truly justify Amy's hatred towards Nick? Sure, he wants the Cool Girl, but didn't Amy knowingly and willfully accept to be his "Cool Girl"? Is she disillusioned to think that he could love her true self when she had been putting on a facade for so long? It's a question of opinion, but I still think Amy's in the right. Don't most people pretend to a certain degree in their relationships? I mean, Nick does the same thing Amy does to him. On page 303, Amy says, "It turned out he couldn't sustain his side either: the witty banter, the clever games, the romance, and the wooing. It all started collapsing on itself". Amy hates that Nick can't live up to her expectation of the cool husband just like he hates that she can't live up to his expectation of the cool wife, forcing each out of their own fantasy. I think that's part of why Nick has his affair with Andi: he wants to be that cool guy again, the best version of himself. It's apparent in his quick disappearance of affection for Andi that he never truly liked her, just the idea of her being the cool girl.
At the ending of Gone Girl, we see Amy and Nick revert to playing their old roles, much to the dismay of everyone. While Amy is obviously happy being back in her role, Nick clearly doesn't have the ability to keep up the image. In this final exchange between the two, we see this clearly:
“This morning he was stroking my hair and asking what else he could do for me, and I said: "My gosh, Nick, why are you so wonderful to me?"
He was supposed to say: YOU DESERVE IT. I LOVE YOU. But he said, "Because I feel sorry for you."
"Why?"
"Because every morning you have to wake up and be you."
I really, truly wish he hadn't said that. I keep thinking about it. I can't stop.” (page 555)
An eerie ending to an eerie novel.
-Amy Dunne, Gone Girl
In this speech of Amy's, she reveals an uncomfortable truth, the truth of the "cool girl". She tells of how inherently wrong it is that women are expected to play certain roles for men and be who men want them to be while men hold none of these expectations. And she's not wrong. While Amy's rant is a little extreme at parts, it holds truth. In lots of relationships, from teen to married, women will go out of their way to please their partner in a way that's not always reciprocated by men. It's degrading in a way, to sell yourself out by doing something that you don't want to do, just to please someone else. And Amy has really sold herself out, playing a role that she doesn't want to play just to please a man who's also pretending.
Amy seems to be justifying her actions through what she's saying in this speech. It's a cry of anger and it tells us that she's not happy with the expectations that are set up for her. She's not happy that her husband is allowed to take and take from her more than he gives. Amy doesn't want to play the Cool Girl game with Nick; she wants to be with him on her own conditions and we see this in the end of the novel. Though Amy and Nick are still pretending with one another, Amy's not doing it to please Nick, she's doing it to please herself, something completely different from pretending to be the Cool Girl.
But does this truly justify Amy's hatred towards Nick? Sure, he wants the Cool Girl, but didn't Amy knowingly and willfully accept to be his "Cool Girl"? Is she disillusioned to think that he could love her true self when she had been putting on a facade for so long? It's a question of opinion, but I still think Amy's in the right. Don't most people pretend to a certain degree in their relationships? I mean, Nick does the same thing Amy does to him. On page 303, Amy says, "It turned out he couldn't sustain his side either: the witty banter, the clever games, the romance, and the wooing. It all started collapsing on itself". Amy hates that Nick can't live up to her expectation of the cool husband just like he hates that she can't live up to his expectation of the cool wife, forcing each out of their own fantasy. I think that's part of why Nick has his affair with Andi: he wants to be that cool guy again, the best version of himself. It's apparent in his quick disappearance of affection for Andi that he never truly liked her, just the idea of her being the cool girl.
At the ending of Gone Girl, we see Amy and Nick revert to playing their old roles, much to the dismay of everyone. While Amy is obviously happy being back in her role, Nick clearly doesn't have the ability to keep up the image. In this final exchange between the two, we see this clearly:
“This morning he was stroking my hair and asking what else he could do for me, and I said: "My gosh, Nick, why are you so wonderful to me?"
He was supposed to say: YOU DESERVE IT. I LOVE YOU. But he said, "Because I feel sorry for you."
"Why?"
"Because every morning you have to wake up and be you."
I really, truly wish he hadn't said that. I keep thinking about it. I can't stop.” (page 555)
An eerie ending to an eerie novel.